I'm Not O.KK
Welcome to I'm Not O.KK, a fresh and engaging podcast where we dive deep into the world of mental health with authenticity, empathy, and a dash of humor. Hosted by two dynamic voices Kimberly Jahns and Kelly Kranz, each episode brings to light aspects of mental health history through storytelling and today's personal stories and triumphs that remind us we're not alone in our struggles.
Every other week we tell a story related to mental health and wellness. With candid conversations we want to dismantle the stigmas surrounding mental health, offering our listeners a safe space to reflect on their own experiences and find comfort in shared stories.
Each episode ends with engaging discussions during the book club portion of our podcast where we dive deep into mental health themes.
As your hosts, we don't just navigate these conversations from a distance; we're right there with you, sharing our battles and breakthroughs. Our goal? To infuse each discussion with laughter and levity, proving that even in our darkest moments, a spark of joy can be found.
I'm Not O.KK is more than just a podcast; it's a community. Whether you're seeking solace, understanding, or just a good laugh amidst the chaos of mental health challenges.
Because when you're here, you're never alone.
I'm Not O.KK
The Emotional Power of Harry Potter
What does it take to transform deep struggles into a magical world that captivates millions? Hear the inspiring story of J.K. Rowling's journey from poverty and depression to becoming the celebrated author of Harry Potter. We'll explore her escape from an abusive relationship, navigating the challenges of single motherhood, and the profound impact of her clinical depression on her writing. Discover how Rowling's personal battles and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy experience shaped the creation of the Dementors, offering a unique insight into the resilience and creativity behind her beloved series.
Email us at notokkpodcast@gmail.com
We appreciate you!
Hi Hello and welcome to. I'm Not OKK the podcast.
Speaker 1:I'm Kimberly, just kidding. I'm Kelly, I just want to be you.
Speaker 2:You wish, you wish you were me.
Speaker 1:I want to be you. So bad, that's so funny oh my gosh stop.
Speaker 2:I know my life is just so glamorous.
Speaker 1:It's just because I'm staring at you and I was, you know, such a dream.
Speaker 2:Kimberly, if I was you, first thing I'd do is build the Lego kit you currently have, and then I would pet your dog and probably cuddle with her for an hour at least.
Speaker 1:My dog doesn't cuddle.
Speaker 2:Well, even non-cuddly dogs I cuddle. They hate it. Good luck, and I feel bad. And then I would take a nap on the sofa. That has become your nap sofa and that's what I do in a day and I just want you to know that Do you have like multiple sofas, that you're able to designate a sofa as a nap sofa.
Speaker 2:I mean, we do have multiple sofas in my home, but I don't designate one as a nap sofa. However, this is really weird. So there's a sofa I've had forever, love it. I think it's pleather and it's very cool. Like literally it's cool, but I fall asleep and then I wake up and I'm like sweating and I'm like like, is this because it's pleather? So like I don't know, but it's a good nap sofa long story short it's a good nap sofa.
Speaker 1:I always. That's why I always like wasn't I mean pleather? I had like pleather pants growing up because I wanted to look like the Spice Girls. I remember I had like a red pair of pleather pants with like a zip up, like red pleather jacket. So maybe I wanted to be Michael Jackson, really don't know. But I always disliked leather couches because the same kind of thing like it'd be really cold to get onto. So you cover yourself up with blankets and then by the time you got to get off, like your skin just kind of peels off of it, like it feels like a bandaid is being ripped off your skin on a very low level. But that's kind of what it feels like. It's just like why is my skin sticking to this? No sweat or anything involved necessarily. It's just like I don't like that feeling.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yeah, I don't like that either. But it is, like I said, once again, a good nap sofa Cause like it's cold, so you kind of like cuddle in a little. I was just like, oh, I'm cozy, but then you wake up and you're like, meh, how did?
Speaker 1:we get on this. I forgot Sofa. I asked how many sofas you have that you're able to dedicate one, a nap sofa.
Speaker 2:Oh, and I was thinking, if I was you, okay, good, because my train of thought is all over the place.
Speaker 1:I'm focused on lunch, so my train of thought hasn't left the station. It's pretty dull. It's pretty dull and boring thoughts ruminating in my brain I highly doubt that your brain is always very interesting it is, it's out there, yeah it's, I mean, it's something it's it's a summer summer is coming to an end.
Speaker 2:Did you know this well, thanks for have you heard really bringing in the good points of sadness?
Speaker 1:but does that have? It is like that, like really change things for people who aren't in school, like summer's coming to an end, yeah, it does right even if you're not a parent. It just. It just means the weather is changing, really, I mean, and the activities. It's a really stupid line of thought, but you know what I'm saying. Well, this probably isn't. It doesn't affect me as much as it does others.
Speaker 2:I mean yeah, because you're not in school. But for me and my area the library hours change like the public library.
Speaker 1:So you know, it's a big change in my life.
Speaker 2:I forgot you're a library lady. Yes, I am. I love me some free books. Did you rent out the book that we're reading.
Speaker 1:It's called rent, right?
Speaker 2:No, you take out a book you borrow, they lend it to you, oh you borrow.
Speaker 1:You take out. No, you take out food. Yeah, I remember back in the day like you've stepped foot in a library, oh it's been, I haven't, I have no idea, but I remember growing up like we'd always have weekly classes at the libraries. We'd always learn, like the Dewey decimal system, like you know, you talk to the librarian, like you go pick out your books, like I remember all of that and then I think it got phased out. I even remember my librarian's name, like I think her name was miss bettita isaacs.
Speaker 2:So that's a very. There was an impression okay she left an impression because libraries you know it's not my, my fault.
Speaker 1:The education system failed me in my library, knows okay, that got dark. Anyway, it did, it got dark real quick.
Speaker 2:Anyway, goodness. But how are you doing Kelly in life, in everything?
Speaker 1:All right, I made some pretty big decisions lately when it comes to what I'm doing for a living, and those decisions were based on mostly not what I need to do to make money, but what I need to do to take care of my mental health. So I'm switching gears so I can do things that bring me joy, and I think that would provide a nice baseline to ground me so I can get back to being who I enjoy being. So that's what you know. It's a big decision. I guess someone would call it a life decision, but for me I'm just viewing it as something temporary, but maybe it might be something I end up falling in love with. Who knows? That's what life's about. You try new things, you experience things.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly, I'm getting out of my comfort zone, that's for sure, but I'm sure it'll turn into a comfort zone, because everything is uncomfortable at first sometimes, yeah, well, not yeah, yeah, like it's just new. It's not even necessarily uncomfortable, it's just like new. So you have to like figure it out.
Speaker 2:But that stretches your brain, stretches your boundaries, you learn more about yourself, which is fun. So, yeah, let's jump into two degrees, Kelly, because otherwise this train is going to go off the tracks. So how did yours go? I'm excited to hear about this. Yours was to order groceries and cook with those groceries.
Speaker 1:I didn't do any of that. That is not something that I did. I did not do that and today it's on my list to actually order groceries and go pick them up because I'm entertaining later, so I'm going to have to have food and things like that. So, yeah, very late in the game getting on this. But again, like my larger life decision before I made that decision was kind of impairing on me showing up for these actions and actually impaired me from actually showing up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was like what are you talking about?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I saw your face I was like I said the fucking word wrong. It was impairing me from doing the things that I wanted to do in life. Showing up as a partner which was a big reason why I wanted to cook dinner two nights a week and get groceries is so I could show up for my boyfriend, be there like I used to be. But yeah, that has not happened. I'm hoping that some stuff like that can happen in the future. I don't want to have to put that on hold, but I think I will, just for a little bit, because I think that just is too much for me right now, especially in this transitional period. So what, I think I'll make my two degrees to really focus on, because I was able to do a lot of these in the beginning. I think I'll make it.
Speaker 1:I want to start to make a list of like in the beginning of the morning, like some people get up and they write affirmations and some people journal at night. But I would just like to get up in the morning and make a list of the things that I believe I need to get done that day, and then a separate list like off to the side, that's like things that I want to get done and that list can just be. That could be as long as I need it to be. And then if I just I'm thinking cause I read something, I'm thinking because I read something, I'm thinking, if I like the need to do is like no more than four, and the wants pull from your want list, like maybe one or two each day, depending on what they are. Like, say, you want to go get, you want to have a soda. You know that could be easier. It's like want to have a soda and go out to dinner. Like look, you can do.
Speaker 1:Two the transitional period. So I think that'll be my two degrees, I think that'll be it Are you a list person at all.
Speaker 2:Do you use lists?
Speaker 1:Out of the writing methods that get shit out of your head. I prefer lists and I usually put them on my phone and then I'll go through them and check, check, check, check, check. But I also really prefer when they're tangible. So in my working, in my career, I have a ton of notebooks. There's just lists galore. Fuck, no, I did not time track that shit, because I'm doing everything in my notebook. So, yeah, I do it, but just I need to do it intentional this time. So it's for me, yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, that's good. I love lists. I'm always a list person, so I encourage lists.
Speaker 1:They're so fun. Some people get super hype about them. It's their favorite.
Speaker 2:It is my favorite. It feels, so good, just being like yes, that's done.
Speaker 1:What about you? Where are you skating?
Speaker 2:So I'm actually kind of proud of myself. My thing was less caffeine, and I actually am drinking less caffeine. I'm still having some caffeine, but, like the strength of the caffeine is less, it's only one shot of espresso instead of two. Sometimes I won't even have coffee, so I'm proud of myself that I'm going with. My next one, though, is going to. I'm going to be taking it back to a few weeks where I said I need to eat vegetables, like I really I really got to eat vegetables, especially with the whole, you know, gut mind thing. It's just like, ooh, vegetables are so important, like you're supposed to be eating like five servings a day or something, and I'm like oh my gosh, does a potato count as a vegetable? Right, I remember for the oh my gosh, does a potato count as a vegetable?
Speaker 1:Right. I remember for the longest time I thought potatoes are vegetables. They're just like no.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Like it's upsetting. You're like it's kind of in the vegetable area. Grows in the ground, yeah, like that's where vegetables are. But yeah, so I'm going to try and do that more. I think just maybe because last time I was eating a vegetable a day. I think that's a good place to start just eating a vegetable. I mean, it's a terrible place to start because I should be eating more vegetables, but that's where I'm starting, because I need to eat vegetables.
Speaker 1:Do you like to eat them like when they're raw, so you could just? You say you have a ranch thing going on right now, so would you just buy a bunch of carrots and celery and then just sit and snack on those, or is that not your style?
Speaker 2:I literally bought a bag of carrots Because, yeah, I would sit and dip it in ranch, whatever. But then I also I bought pickles, because pickles are vegetables. It's just a pickled cucumber. I think that counts. I bought cucumbers and then I bought so it's like breaded or whatever, but it's the cauliflower that's breaded and then like with barbecue not barbecue sauce, but like buffalo wing sauce and they're supposed to be like wings.
Speaker 1:Yeah, those are actually good. Yeah, those are actually good yeah.
Speaker 2:They are. They are and I've tried to make them myself and it did not turn out. So I'm going to keep trying to make them myself because it's healthier and like less expensive. But so that's kind of my vibe Like deep fried, I eat raw or canned Canned.
Speaker 1:Raw, canned or deep fried.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, I eat cooked carrots and stuff.
Speaker 1:We're not out here steaming vegetables.
Speaker 2:No, we're steaming dumplings, all right.
Speaker 1:Okay, all right.
Speaker 2:No steaming, no, no, no girl. So I'm going to jump into the two degrees from a listener that says yo, okk, I've been a hot mess trying to juggle my band, my day job and my sanity Felt like I was drowning in a sea of expectations, you know. So I did something wild. I put my phone on do not disturb. For just 30 minutes. That's brave, that's it. No grand plans, no life-altering decisions, just 30 minutes of peace. And you know what it was like finding an oasis in the middle of a chaos, desert. Now I'm thinking maybe I can stretch that to an hour tomorrow. Keep serving up that real talk. Travis from Houston, very true, travis, yo, travis, yeah, that's.
Speaker 1:Travis was descriptive. What did Travis say he does? He said he's a band. What else?
Speaker 2:My band, my day job and my sanity my sanity piece is pretty big. Well, thanks for sending that in. Travis, totally get it. Sometimes you just have to like pause the world and deal with your own stuff.
Speaker 1:It causes anxiety sometimes when I put my phone on do not disturb, because then I keep grabbing, because, like in the beginning, I'll keep grabbing for it, and then I'll be like, oh, that's right, like I'm not supposed to be paying attention to it. And then eventually I'll be like walk away from it, like it's okay, I could eat dinner at the table, it could be over there in the living room, like it's hard, it's fucking hard.
Speaker 2:That it is, that it is, yeah, so I'm excited to hear your story today, kelly.
Speaker 1:I'm excited for this one, I'm excited for all of them. But this one is like I mean, I think everybody kind of knows a little bit of it, and then I really didn't know a lot of it. So I dug in and I was like, oh, look at all of it. So I'm not going to tell you what it's about first. We're going to do a little bit of an introduction first and then there'll be like a reveal in it. So I'm not going to read the sources, because the sources reveal all of it.
Speaker 2:I'm on a rollercoaster ride right now, emotionally with you.
Speaker 1:Buckle in, buckle in a little bit, maybe don't buckle in too much, but it of this, that is a roller coaster. Now ready, ready.
Speaker 1:I'm ready In the early 1990s, in a small, cold Edinburgh flat, a young woman sat at a rickety table while her baby daughter was sleeping nearby. Surrounded by stacks of paper and armed with nothing but a pen and her imagination, she began to write. The scratching of her pen was barely audible over the whistle of the wind outside, in the occasional rumble of a passing car. Little did she know that the words flowing from her pen would not only change her life but touch the hearts of millions around the world. This woman was Joanne Kathleen Rowling, known to the world. I saw her hand went up in the middle. It was just so funny. That's why I laughed a little bit. Her name was Joanne Kathleen Rowling, known to the world as JK Rowling, and she was in the depths of depression. That's right we're doing.
Speaker 2:Harry Potter. You can't even say Harry Potter, I can't even say it. This is somewhat controversial because of the things she's said after she's published her books, but we won't address that. That's what I was thinking as well.
Speaker 1:We'll just address the mental health aspects of her.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:We're addressing these parts of it and we're not, yeah, the other parts of it. That's for another podcast which you and I would have a lot of opinions on as well. We would have many opinions on yeah.
Speaker 1:Not for this podcast, not this portion of it. Rowling's journey to becoming one of the world's most beloved authors was far from magical. Born in Yate I'm going to butcher this so bad born in Yate, gloucestershire, in 1965, she had always been a bookish child with a vivid imagination. She wrote her first story, called Rabbit, at the age of six and never really stopped writing. However, her path to literary stardom was filled with personal challenges and setbacks.
Speaker 1:In her mid-twenties she found herself in circumstances that would challenge even the strongest spirits, after a whirlwind romance and marriage to George Arantes, or Jorge this is spelled George, but it's also can be pronounced Jorge, because it's the Spanish spelling of George. So, yeah, so I believe. So we'll go with Jorge Arantes in Portugal oh, I, just in Portugal, jorge where she had been teaching English. So she found herself in an abusive relationship with him. She left with her infant daughter, jessica, and she returned to the UK. That's where she settled into Edinburgh and that was so she could be near her sister. So I kind of butchered my words a little bit there. But she was in an abusive relationship with Jorge and her and her daughter up and left. So now that she was a single mother who was recently separated. She was living on welfare and struggling to make ends meet. She later recalled this period as a time of abject poverty, describing how she would nurse a single cup of coffee for hours in cafes while she wrote, as it was cheaper than heating at her flat. The weight of poverty and the challenges of single parenthood took their toll, plunging her into a deep depression. We're talking suicidal thoughts here, she said, which was later revealed in an interview with the Times. We're not talking. I'm a little bit miserable.
Speaker 1:The future author of Harry Potter found herself in such a dark place that she contemplated taking her own life. It was her love for her daughter, jessica, that ultimately grounded her and pushed her to seek help. But even seeking help proved to be a challenge for her. When she first reached out to her doctor, she was met with dismissal. She wasn't being taken seriously, and that was an experience that left her feeling even more isolated and misunderstood. It wasn't until her regular general practitioner returned and reviewed her notes that Rowling finally received the support she desperately needed. This experience of being initially dismissed would later inform her portrayal of mental health struggles in the Harry Potter series, highlighting the importance of being heard and taken seriously.
Speaker 1:Rowling was eventually diagnosed with clinical depression and started CBT Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. She has spoken about how this form of therapy helped her manage her negative thoughts and develop coping strategies. The experience would later influence her portrayal of the characters overcoming mental challenges in her books, as I mentioned earlier, and it was a tumultuous time that Rowling began writing Harry Potter. The idea for the boy wizard had come to her years earlier, during a delayed train journey from Manchester to London, but it was in the midst of her depression that she began to flesh out the magical world that would captivate millions. Can I just take a minute to say that CBT therapy really fucking helps with those thoughts, like it really does, and I'm also like, would you? I mean, you know, not a professional here in that sense, but it always feels like that's the most common type of therapy that I see come up. It just seems to like cover a lot of facets my therapist and I've heard it a lot.
Speaker 2:The basis of it is just basically stopping your thoughts to check the factual basis and kind of challenging those thoughts. Isn't that basically what CBT is? I mean very, very you know boiled down, but yeah, I think so.
Speaker 2:I think it's something along those lines, because that's the type of stuff I did was managing your thoughts, understanding that what they're coming through is a feeling, not necessarily a fact have over you, where you don't actually think about the fact that you have these thoughts, that you're like oh wait, my thoughts might not be true, because it's almost like you just believe everything you think.
Speaker 2:You're like okay, the sky's blue I'm thinking about the sky being blue and you're not like, oh, I'm worthless. You just assume. You're like I'm worthless because I believe my thoughts. And that's where, at least for me, cbt comes in. Because it's like, okay, you think you're worthless, okay, what facts back that up? And it's like, oh, okay, there's not really that many facts. Okay, what facts back up, like the opposite? And it's like, oh, my friends value me, my family values me. Okay, what's a new thought? Oh, I am not worthless, my family values me Like it is. But it's crazy, when you start to dig into this, how much control your thoughts have over every aspect of your life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I agree with that. Yeah, my thoughts incapacitate me, they cause me anxiety. Then they build up those stories just keep going, they keep unfolding and it's all negative and it's so hard to rewire for the positive. So, but CBT is your go-to. It's a go-to for depression.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's just insanely difficult. It sounds so easy like, oh, just challenge your thoughts. It's like no, it's a fucking workout apart my personality and who I am and what I believe, versus these negative thoughts, because there's pieces of who I think I am. I've made anxiety a part of my personality and it's like trying to tease that apart from who I actually am is hard, because it challenges who you are and what you think and what you believe, and it's kind of like a midlife crisis or a complete restart of who you are. It's exciting because hopefully you'll be healthier on the other end. That's the goal. That is the goal, anyway more about JK Rowling.
Speaker 1:I love this. I love this. The magical world she created became more than just a story. It was a lifeline, a form of therapy that allowed her to channel her experiences and emotions into something positive, as she later explained in an interview with the New Yorker. I had to do something with my time. I was too poor to do anything else. I just want to take a minute. The logic there. I like it. Rowling would often write in local cafes, particularly the Elephant House in Edinburgh, which has since become a pilgrimage site for Harry Potter fans. She would sit for hours nursing a single cup of coffee, jessica would be sleeping in her pram besides her, and she filled page after page with adventures of Harry, ron and Hermione.
Speaker 1:The influence of her battle with depression is evident throughout the Harry Potter series. I love this part, most notably in the form of Dementors. These dark creatures, which first appeared in the third book Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, drain all happiness and hope from their victims, leaving them with only their worst memories. They are a chilling metaphor for depression. Rowling has openly stated that the Dementors were inspired by her own experiences with clinical depression.
Speaker 2:Wow, I didn't know that that's pretty cool. I mean it's not cool, but it's cool that she gave kind of a face to depression in this story. Granted, it's a faceless face, but like that's kind of cool.
Speaker 1:Yeah and like so I loved it. When I read that I was like, oh shit, yeah, with my therapist and like they're always like describe what it feels like. Describe what your depression feels like what is? I used to call it. I was like she's. I labeled her. I was like she, her name is shit storm and this is what she feels like. I used to call it. I labeled her. I was like her name is Shitstorm and this is what she looks like. And then the way that I would describe it to my therapist is like she just kind of like is black and she has all these wisps coming out around you that can like engulf you. And I'd be like have you ever seen Harry Potter with the Dementors? And I was like it's that. And I was like it's like that, except there's a little bit more. I don't know it's like that. So when I read this I was like, oh fuck, yes.
Speaker 2:Because that's literally how I took it, because it just looks like it just envelops you and it's just like oh, yeah, yeah, I mean it is interesting. The more you think about it, it's like okay, well, dementors, if they suck enough out of you, they can kill you. And it's like, yeah, yeah, depression can do that, those bad thoughts can do that. Yeah, that's fascinating, that's so cool.
Speaker 1:I know your face genuinely is just like oh, that just clicked.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, that makes so much sense. And then it's cool, because light is what scares them away.
Speaker 1:It's almost like I have something like that to say oh my gosh, am I setting you up right now? You are for a few paragraphs later. So I appreciate it and your forward thinking. It's like you know, look at me.
Speaker 1:So Rowling says in an interview with the Times it's so difficult to describe depression to someone who's never been there. It's that cold absence of feeling that really hollowed out feeling. And this description that she gave closely mirrors the effect the Dementors have on characters in the Harry Potter universe, which allows readers who have experienced depression to see their struggles reflected in a fantastical yet deeply relatable way. I'm raising my hand. But Rowling didn't just depict the darkness of depression in her book. But Rowling didn't just depict the darkness of depression in her book. She also illustrated the path to recovery. The Patronus charm, a powerful spell used to repel dementors, requires the caster to focus on their happiest memory. This mirrors real-world therapeutic techniques that encourage individuals to focus on positive thoughts and experiences to combat depression. You nailed it, kimberly? Yes, throughout this series, rowling weaves in themes of mental health, resilience and the power of support systems. Harry's journey is not just about defeating a dark wizard. It's about overcoming trauma, anxiety and the feeling of being different. His struggles with nightmares and mood swings, and outbursts of anger in the later books can be seen as manifestations of PTSD. Harry's friends, ron and Hermione, along with other supportive characters like Hagrid and the Weasley family, demonstrate the crucial role that a support system plays in mental health recovery. The importance of these connections is emphasized throughout the series, reflecting Rowling's own experience of how vital support was when she was battling depression.
Speaker 1:The theme of stigma and isolation often associated with mental health issues is also prevalent in the series. Harry's feelings of being misunderstood and different, particularly in his relative's home and sometimes even at Hogwarts, mirror the isolation many people with mental health issues experience. The way the wizarding world often doubts. Harry's claims about Voldemort's return can be seen as an allegory for the disbelief and dismissal that people with mental health issues sometimes face. And as the Harry Potter series gained worldwide acclaim, rowling found herself in a position to speak openly about her experiences with depression. So by doing so, she has helped to de-stigmatize mental health issues and encourage others to seek help. I have never been remotely ashamed of having been depressed Never, she stated in an interview with the Guardian. What's to be ashamed of? I went through a really rough time and I'm quite proud that I got out of that.
Speaker 2:Ooh, ooh.
Speaker 1:Yeah, ooh, okay, yes, pride.
Speaker 2:Love that Snaps. Yeah, it is so true, though. Where people like it kind of is right when people look down upon mental health, or people like seeking help, or up until you know our generation or the recent generation, it was like therapy was looked down upon, and it's like this is actually one of the hardest things you have to do, because nobody else sees you working on it. Like if you're losing weight, people will notice and be like wow, you look great, whatever. But if you're working on your mental health, people might notice an attitude change, but a lot of people like fake happiness or that kind of thing. So it's like you might not see the change. It's all for you, it's all internal. So it is something to be proud of, even the small wins of hey I got out of bed today and I went for a walk.
Speaker 2:It's like that's fan-freaking-tastic Pat yourself on the back.
Speaker 1:Like you said, it's tough. People can't see it. They can't see what is going on in your head. They can't understand the way you feel without. I mean, even if you explain it, some people never understand. You're just as sick as if you had the flu, like something along those lines. And then it's just people who can visibly see it. Oh my gosh, so sorry. Here's flowers. Let me get you food, let me help, let me be supportive. People who can't see it. Maybe they think it's real when you first tell it to them and they'll pay attention to it. For like two weeks I've had people do that to me before. Like here's a self-care kit, watch this DVD. I'm like bitch who has had a DVD player in the past 10 years. Like no, no, get out of my life. But like people have done that to me before and then they just get upset because I don't show up anymore and I was like well, remember what I told you? Like that that doesn't just heal itself. There's no antibiotic for that shit.
Speaker 2:Like this means.
Speaker 1:I have to work and like, if you don't want to be a part of that journey, fine, but it sucks. But what I was going to say before I got into that tangent is I think it would be really cool if there were walks like Alzheimer's walk, like a breast cancer walk. It shows up like a lot of survivors are there, as well as supportive families. People have lost people to it. I don't know if there is, I've honestly never really looked into it, but wouldn't it be awesome if there was some type of not necessarily mental health, like, okay, we're grouping everything together, but this is a bipolar walk, this is the depression walk, this is the suicidal walk kind of thing.
Speaker 2:I know they have one for suicide awareness. I did in college. It was like, oh gosh, what was it? Was it like be the light or something? Yeah, be the light walk to prevent suicide and reduce stigma. And I'm pretty sure it was this where at my college, we all gathered some area and this was around nighttime and we all had just candles they were fake, but candles and then we walked across the bridge and walked to this park and whatever. But yeah, I know there's a number of them for suicide awareness. I'm not sure if there's an anxiety walk. That'd be funny.
Speaker 1:I'm just picturing someone making a cartoon of it, just exacerbating all anxiety symptoms in the characters and just trying to walk yeah.
Speaker 2:Have you ever seen where it's like the slogan on a shirt or something and it's like procrastinators, unite tomorrow.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I've never seen that, but it's funny.
Speaker 2:Where it's like, if you have social anxiety, it's like you're not freaking going to a walk, yeah.
Speaker 1:The email that should come out the day before the walk is we know how you feel already. You've already come up with a million excuses about why you're not going to be here, but let me give you a million as to why. Free t-shirt Not really. Free salad for lunch, you know. Just like. Bribe us with food and t-shirts and like.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but no, I think they do have some. I mean maybe not as prevalent as like yeah, breast cancer walks or things like that. But yeah, that's a good point, just to like raise awareness. But I think once again, where mental illness is becoming such a huge topic of conversation and people are a lot more open with it, I think that helps too with awareness.
Speaker 1:So yeah, I do. I think it does, and to a point where it might get. Maybe it's not a walk walk, maybe it becomes something else, like maybe it becomes like a block party. I don't, I don't know what's it. You know what I mean like a block.
Speaker 1:I mean I would if okay, um okay, marketers, hello, you're in the room with me, I'm a marketer, you're a marketer. So essentially, yeah, think about branding something and just be like in your town. It's like, you know the, the bipolar block party. It comes like every year and everybody you know do like just the walks. Anyway, I digress, it was a good tangent though it was. It was yeah.
Speaker 1:So Rowling's openness about her mental health struggles extended beyond interviews In 2015, she engaged in a Twitter conversation I remember this with one fan who was struggling to find a reason to live. Rowling responded with a series of tweets offering encouragement and reasons for hope, demonstrating her ongoing commitment to awareness and support. The success of Harry Potter also allowed her to support various mental health initiatives. She donated to multiple charities and even founded her own charitable trust, volant, which supports a range of causes, including MS research and projects to alleviate social deprivation in Scotland. This work further underscores her commitment to helping others who may be facing challenges similar to the ones she faced.
Speaker 1:Her journey from a struggling, depressed, single mother to one of the world's most successful authors is a testament to the power of resilience and the transformative nature of creativity. Through her writing, she not only found a way to cope with her own mental health struggles, but she also created a world that has provided comfort and understanding and hope to millions of readers dealing with their own challenges. Preach the Harry Potter series has sold over 500 million copies worldwide and has been translated into over 80 languages. Its impact on pop culture is immeasurable, but perhaps its most significant legacy is the way it has helped readers of all ages understand and cope with their own challenges. So the story of JK Rowling and the creation of Harry Potter reminds us that even in our darkest moments there is potential for magic. It teaches us that our struggles do not define us, but they can instead be the very thing that fuels our greatest creations. As Dumbledore wisely said in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, happiness can be found even in the darkest of times if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Speaker 1:Rowling's story continues to inspire. She has gone on to write other successful books, including adult novels, under the pseudonym Robert Galbraith. But more importantly, she continues to be an advocate for mental health awareness and support. Her journey again from the depths of depression to the heights of literary success serves as a beacon to anyone struggling with mental health issues, proving that it's possible to not just survive but to thrive. And that is JK Rowling's story and the inspiration, some of the inspiration that went behind the creation of Harry Potter. Wow, that's really cool. I didn't know a lot of that, right, I thought once I started diving in, I'm like this has some meat into it, like this is some cool things that I didn't know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's really cool because you think you know everything with Harry Potter and then it's like oh, I don't. Mental health issues.
Speaker 1:Okay, this whole thing stems from a woman who's in the bowels of hell.
Speaker 2:Mentally yeah, mentally yeah. But it is so nice to not nice but like, okay, one of, like you said, the most successful authors ever.
Speaker 2:And like she started when she was in poverty and very depressed. It's so hard to keep moving forward, but it's like those, the two degrees, that one step forward. It's just like forward is forward. You know, just keep working on trying to make yourself healthier or just surviving another day. It's so difficult some days, but everybody just has so much value individually that it's like you don't want to lose somebody's light because they have so much to add to the world.
Speaker 1:So, like you're saying, moving forward and it's hard to take those steps. So when I went through this and I read that she had that quote, I'm so depressed the only thing I could afford was to write. And I'm sitting here and there's days when I'm stuck in my depression and I'm frozen and I don't want to pick up anything, like I'm told. Pick up a pen and journal, like my two degrees is to create lists, because I know it's good if you get it out of your head and onto paper. But I don't know how these people do that. How can you do that when you feel that way, van Gogh? How can you create masterpieces? How, like? I just want to know how it's possible to literally just pick up the utensil to create something, not even create something. I understand how that's possible, but to pick up the utensil to do it when you're in a state of depression baffles me because it's not something that I have been, I guess, lucky enough to find their outlet.
Speaker 2:It still takes them energy. They gain something from it too. Like you said, writing Okay, writing can be a chore for the vast majority of people, but she was escaping into a world. This seemed to excite her to some degree. I mean, I think it's just a matter of finding your outlet. Lately I love crocheting and I just crochet and it's just kind of calming for me and, yeah, I'm not going to be in any museums anytime soon, but that's becoming my outlet, where it's like, okay, I enjoy this. And I mean, I don't know your outlet because I don't live your life.
Speaker 1:You know me so well. What are you talking about? Like it's right here on the wall.
Speaker 2:I know I was going to say Pilates, but I didn't want to make it your thing, but it is my thing, it is your thing, but I just think, I don't know, like certain things, like that. I mean, yeah, some days it's hard to crochet. For me it's easier to crochet than write a novel or paint something I feel like we all have that thing, that hobby or whatever, and maybe some people haven't discovered it yet.
Speaker 2:Maybe there's more to discover, even if you have found it. But I feel like that's why because it's not a chore necessarily. It's like this helps me escape. But that's just my opinion.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I wish I had that frame of mind. Everything I love feels like a chore. Are you ready? To get into our book reading Okay, yeah, let's leave it on that. That's upsetting. You know what this chapter is about, anger.
Speaker 2:And do you want to get angry?
Speaker 1:No, I just like it's kind of exciting. Maybe anger is your outlet Anger is definitely an outlet I have.
Speaker 2:Yeah, maybe it should be.
Speaker 1:Like a little good anger. You know, I was going to say never hurt anybody. It literally hurts everybody.
Speaker 2:That's a lie.
Speaker 1:But you know, I get angry as fuck when I have like my, when I get agitated. Oh my gosh, I just get angry. Like well, if you keep agitating me, aka sit near me, breathe near me, you know anything Like just fucking go off what she talks about in here. Yeah, my word. So yeah, this chapter is chapter seven that we're going over this time and it is on anger, and yeah, cause now we're getting. Last time it was anxiety, this time we're going into anger. So just to start off the bat, to get the conversation going, I'm just going to. She puts in a general reminder here about anger, so I'm just going to read that off. Emotions are instinctive responses that are triggered by outside events and inside memories of past events. They function in the middle part of the brain, separate from the reasoning and cognitive processes in our prefrontal cortex. So anger is an emotion and that's what we're talking about there.
Speaker 2:The emotion of anger.
Speaker 1:It's an out movement, instinctive response designed to protect us from harm by pushing us into action.
Speaker 2:Yeah, which makes sense. That's what like a lot of emotions, like help us do is get through an experience, protect ourselves, that kind of thing. But I mean, lately everybody's just like. I think anger is the first response. Either anger or offense is the first response for a lot of people in our culture, right?
Speaker 1:now. So much offense. Like you could literally like oh my god, I was in a work meeting the other day. I can say this now, I guess, because I left my fucking job. I was in a work meeting the other day and this asshole is on the call. I've met him a few times before. When I was first introduced to him, he told me his name. His name is particularly hard to say. He told me I could say it in one of three ways. He said I would not be offended whatsoever. The last two times I was on a call with this asshole, he has stopped me dead in my talks and been like that's not how you say my name and I'm just like and I'm like taking it back, like what the fuck?
Speaker 1:Like, what, like, what are you doing? And I said the first time and I was like, and I was like oh. I was like oh, we talked about this in the beginning. Sorry about that. Like I was going to try and get it the best I can, and he's like it's pronounced this, not this, and I was like he's about to do dad, talk to me, put up his finger. But I told you last time, I was like I'm going to jump through this.
Speaker 1:Zoom call and strangle your ass. So, yes, people take fucking offense to the tiniest little goddamn things, do you think? Look, I'm getting angry. Can you hear me? Do you like? I'm out here? I just met you and my main purpose is to offend you because I can't say your name. Yeah, that's not even the vibe I give off whatsoever. I get on a call, I ask everybody how they're doing. Like, fuck yourself, dude.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean some things like if you don't learn somebody's name, it can get somewhat offensive yeah, but it's like if you're still getting to know somebody, like people call me Kim all the time and I'll even remind them I'll be like Kimberly, like I prefer Kimberly, and they'll still call me Kim and at a certain point I'm like, I'm not offended by it. It's a little annoying, but it's like, whatever, like there are bigger fish to fry.
Speaker 2:I mean once again, that's if everybody has good intentions. But it's like calling people out when they have good intentions.
Speaker 1:It's like it gets super confusing, like that that type of offense catches me off guard, cause I'm like wait, what, what just happened in this interaction? Like what, what just happened? Like I'm immediately like what do I do? Like well, what did I do? Am I angry? Like everything just fucking comes in at once, cause the second, like someone else acts offended. Then I get offended and then I'm like like and I will you get defensive? You're like defensive yeah.
Speaker 2:Buy it, yeah, and that's. I think a lot of these things become barriers to a conversation where it's like oh my gosh, I'm sorry I mispronounced your name again. I'm trying really hard, like I don't mean any, like you know, just to have that conversation and maybe he has had terrible experiences with people you know and this kind of goes back to the emotions. Maybe he has a past history of people calling him the wrong name, but in a very inappropriate way or in a very offensive way, so he takes these things personally. But it's like sometimes I think we need to be more understanding or more communicative and it's easier said than done because I get pissed at people so quickly, like I jumped to anchor too. But I think it's partially the society where it's like I want to defend myself, I, that dude, that dude, I just I had like completely did a whole example of how someone pissing me off pisses me off.
Speaker 2:Like someone being an idiot like pisses me off.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but I'm human, but that's. You're literally talking about that in this section. There's a section in here called a culture of anger. The first thing she says is why is everyone so fucking pissed all the fucking time? Yeah, and there's a lot of theories as to why we have this anger over-distracted, over-stimulated, overcrowded and over-inundated in everyday life, so that's why we lose our shit. But then she points out in other cultures, like plenty of other cultures, they're just as over-everythinged, but we don't see the same amount of anger responses as we do in the US or Europe. A Swedish researcher was looking into things and I like this when she was comparing anger in the US, japan and Sweden, and her findings demonstrated that in Japan, individuals are explicitly taught that there is an enormous difference between what you feel inside and how you present that to the world. It isn't something that Japanese citizens just pick up from those around them, but it's actually in their school curriculum.
Speaker 2:That's interesting.
Speaker 1:And then, when Americans are asked to explain uncomfortable emotions, they I should say we have a hard time doing so. We'll often describe emotions as internal, not things that have consequences in behavior, but the only exception to that is anger. It's considered a positive force of change for us, for Americans, it helps us cope with fear, it helps us become more independent, and 40% of individuals in the US we consider our anger to have positive consequences over the long term, so we view it as a good thing consequences over the long term.
Speaker 2:So we view it as a good thing. Yeah, that kind of makes sense living in our culture. But I also think our emotional intelligence as a country is really crappy. Being a developed nation, we do not like to sit in our uncomfortable emotions and, yeah, it becomes detrimental when it's like, okay, just stuff that down, I don't want to hear about it, let's not talk about it, like, yeah, it's just, it's not healthy, and I don't think we as a society like to deal with things that are not pleasant or not pretty.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was going to just kind of repeat what you said, but I liked the way you said it. Thanks, girl.
Speaker 1:You're welcome. So she knows. She also notes that anger, while while in America, like 40% of us, view it as a good thing, we we have seen growing up with it that it's permissible and it's a positive means of addressing situations Like it's, it's always a consideration for us, it's not something that we consider taboo, but she makes a point. It's not. It's not good or bad, or right or wrong. Anger is an emotion. It's an emotion. Anger is an emotion that gives us information which leads us to try and make decisions to protect us, to keep us safe things of those nature.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think I'm kind of jumping ahead here, but where she says anger is a secondary emotion, so anger is actually triggered by stuff. She says hurt, expectations not met, needs not met, and I think that's so true. It's like people get angry because, like we said before, they get offended or they are angry with other people or they're hurt by other people and their actions and how they affect themselves, things like that. Where it's not, you're not just angry, you don't just become angry, there's other feelings there and I think taking a second to be like okay, I'm angry because my friend missed these plans we had planned and never contacted me.
Speaker 1:So that would be expectations that were not met.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but it's like, okay, I'm kind of hurt, I'm kind of like does my friend not value our friendship, Instead of getting angry? And I think once we take away that anger, it's like okay, what else is there? My friend could have something going on. She's always been my friend. She's been pretty communicative before. I don't think she's doing this on purpose, but it's like when you jump to anger, you make a lot of assumptions too, and that once again blocks communication between people. And I do this and I hate it because with my husband it's like when we have arguments, I don't think anybody likes admitting they're wrong.
Speaker 2:But sometimes it's just good to get anger out. Or it feels good when it's validated, and then you think about it or you take a step back and I'm like I should not have gotten angry. That was so dumb. We should have just talked about this, like what the heck? You know, like those moments. But sometimes it just feels so validating. You're like I'm angry because he didn't do the dishes and it's like well, in reality he vacuumed the floors. Like you know, like it's so true. It's so true, yeah, but taking that step back, those chemicals that just go through your system and are like yeah, but taking that step back, those chemicals that just go through your system and are like I'm angry. It's like the Hulk, where you just like turn into the Hulk and then, like, once you like come back down from it, you're like, oh frick, like I have to be an adult and be reasonable and like what I just did was really crappy.
Speaker 1:It's interesting Some people think that when they come back down, other people don't. They just ride it. Yeah, it's just the way of life.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Sometimes it feels good to be angry, though I hate to say it, but sometimes it's just like, oh good, and then when you find out, you're wrong. You're like oh crap.
Speaker 1:That's the worst feeling. The best is when you're angry about something with somebody else. You both are angry at the same thing together and the two of you can just sit there and be angry about it and just ruminate in that good, good anger feeling. And then I've had it before.
Speaker 1:Someone pissed me and me and a friend I had off. We were trying to go into a place, a pub on the beach. It was like we were trying to go in there just to have a drink and grab lunch. It says no bathing suits on the store thing. Okay, so I put my cover up over the top and I put my shorts on. I was not wearing a bikini, I was wearing like a monokini.
Speaker 1:So we walk in and the woman, like looks at me and she's like, isn't that a bathing suit? And I was like, yeah, but this is my coverup. And she goes, get out. And me and my friend look at each other. We're like, excuse me, we were so taken aback. We're like, excuse me. And she's like, get out. She's like you're not allowed to have bathing suits on in here. And I was like, well, I have to wear it.
Speaker 1:But I covered up and, by the way, dinky, dinky, fucking beach town pub. I live right near a beach town. You go in anywhere in a bathing suit, like it doesn't matter. We just figured we'd try this new place. So so we were both really angry and like we had other plans to do. But no, we just went back to her house and we just sat there and like drank wine and just fucking bitched about it. And then we're like let's go leave a review on Facebook. So we go on Facebook and like this is the point where, like, we're really angry, like we leave a review and like the local Facebook group, blah, blah, blah. And then, like later the next morning, we're both like oh well, why do we do that?
Speaker 2:Like cause?
Speaker 1:it's a small town, like people know you, like I got text messages from some like other restaurant owners. Like Kelly, what are you doing? It's just like no. It turned out that that bitch was selling the place and that was her last week. So that was that's what was going on with her. Yeah, so it was her place, she was selling it, who knows why, but apparently it was a miserable situation. Or maybe she had to sell the place because that's how she behaves all the time, yeah, but yeah, there was a few people that commented back similar things. But yeah, we deleted that shit right off the internet right away. But it felt good and then it felt bad.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and see, that's the thing where it like feels good in the moment, or like you say things and then, like you immediately know you're like I'm going to regret that. And that's where it's hard when you jump to these emotions where it's like, ooh, you say things and do things you can't take back, like luckily you can like delete it and whatever, and but like some things where people have said things, they can be relationship ending, friendship ending, and it's like, is it worth it.
Speaker 2:Sometimes it is, don't get me wrong. Sometimes people really mess up and there is no forgiveness. Well, there should always be forgiveness, but it's like, no, I don't want to be your friend, but yeah, most of the time it's nice to sit in it and it sucks.
Speaker 1:I still just just talking about that. I still have like a, like a you know a ping of shame like in my gut. Like Kelly, I can't believe you fucking did that, though, and that's okay, Because I learned from doing that. Let's not do that again. Because I have these feelings and I can acknowledge like okay, I'm not a shameful human being, I'm not this, I just did some shit. Acknowledge like okay, I'm not a shameful human being, I'm not this, I just did some shit. And next time let's not do as much shit as we did that time. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2:I mean, it was once again. Everything we do in life is a learning experience, Whatever. Nobody's perfect.
Speaker 1:Well, that was a good chapter, I mean for the most part. That's basically where, like you know, yeah, she basically, yeah, we covered most of, we covered all of it.
Speaker 2:Yeah it. Yeah, it's interesting. Anger is such a fun emotion, but also a terribly destructive emotion. It's like fire. It makes me think of Inside Out too, because I think anger like his head flames or whatever, at least I think. But it's like, yeah, fire can be warming, like it can warm you up, it can help you, it can be productive. But if you let that just fly and just do whatever you want, it will burn your house to the ground, like, okay, this is super random. One of my cross-stitch things is my love for you is like a candle. If you forget about me, I'll burn your fucking house down.
Speaker 2:Oh, I love that, that's so good, and that just made me think because fire. But yeah yeah, good chapter, good story, kelly Freaking, rocking and rolling. This episode Move, move, shake, shake, drop. We're doing it. Okay, we can't afford that copyright.
Speaker 1:Every time, but that's why I don't say the full thing. I think you could say a few seconds. Is it the first seven seconds or the first?
Speaker 2:three seconds, I don't know, but if anybody tries to sue us, we have no money kimberly.
Speaker 1:If anybody tries to sue us for doing that, that means we've made it. That's true. That's true. There's no fucking producer listening to it right now.
Speaker 2:Yeah that's true, that's I mean. That's depressing, but fair.
Speaker 1:Thanks, kelly, for bringing us back down to reality. We're just coming in on episode 20. We're just coming in hot Coming in hot like fire.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because we're coming in hot like fire. Feel free to subscribe to us. Feel free to leave us a review with stars We'd appreciate that and also leave a review with some words if you wanted to. It's not going to hurt anything. It would just help you, help us, which, in the end, turn we help you. Who helps us? It's just kind of this beautiful cyclical situation that we could find ourselves in. It's like a pyramid scheme but healthy. Except you don't have to spend money.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so not a pyramid scheme, it's a circle scheme.
Speaker 1:We're doing it.
Speaker 2:We're living our best lives, yeah, living our best lives, yeah, but so feel free to send in your two degrees to us.
Speaker 1:We love to hear them. Yeah, On the episode descriptions, there's a little link there. It says text us your two degrees. It'll pop right into our inboxes.
Speaker 2:Pop, pop, pop pop. So, yeah, well, thanks for listening everybody. It's been another great Soad with you, kelly, did you like how I said Soad I?
Speaker 1:noticed that I was like oh, is this a? Is that?
Speaker 2:like trendy, am I like cool.
Speaker 1:Like oh, another Soad. Oh, You're so jazzy, another epi. You saw it.
Speaker 2:Like am I cute, Am I trendy? You are right. But Well, keep that energy and remember no, I'm taking a nap, I'm taking okay, okay but keep the energy for this part, because remember when you're here you're never alone. Yeah, you're never alone.
Speaker 1:Bye.
.png)
.png)